Saturday, September 29, 2012

i'm trying to pay attention to what really matters

"dear friend, listen well to my words; tune your ears to my voice.  keep my message in plain view at all times.  concentrate!  learn it by heart!  those who discover these words live, really live; body & soul, they're bursting with health."  proverbs 4:20-22 msg

i was told it would be like this.  i'll never forget what each set of eyes exactly looked like when they carefully & slowly told me how long this process would be.  when they told me how sick ken's lungs are.

somehow, just being forewarned isn't shield enough against the pain that might come my way when given that kind of information.  today i feel spiritually needy, which i know would be a wonderful thing if only my stubborn heart would embrace the neediness.  to be perfectly honest, right this moment, i just long for kenny whole.  and anything short feels like it might actually break my heart.

knowing that jesus knew i'd feel this way long before i sensed it coming on brings the reminder that He would not let me feel this way in vain.  i'm holding fast to His Truth.  i'm trying to keep it in "plain view" and "concentrate" on only that.

some new information from the doctors today gives me some new things to bring before the Lord.

(1)  ken got an ultrasound yesterday that revealed blood clots in his legs.  since he sustained brain injuries, he has not been a candidate for blood thinners.  the neurological team will decide if he can handle them at this point.  (he also had a filter put in to hopefully prevent clots from traveling to places they definitely don't want clots to go).  i'm praying that these clots will totally disappear.  and in the meantime, that the doctors will make a perfect decision for ken for how to handle them.

(2)  the preliminary cultures from the lumbar puncture were negative.  this is wonderful, but disconcerting because the source of ken's fevers is still unknown.  i am praying for the fevers to go away.

(3)  each day the doctors discuss if ken is ready for pelvis surgery.  this is necessary, but the timing is critical as they don't want the bones to heal misaligned but also can't push surgery while the source of his fevers is still unknown (surgery also complicates his blood clot issue a bit).  i am asking for God's decision for His son to be the doctors' decision.  and that God would be a shield around ken, protecting him from "even his foot tripping on a stone" (ps. 91)

thank you so much for joining me in prayer.  we love you.


  1. Lindsay, Three years ago, I almost lost my husband Jamie to a bizarre case of viral ensephalitis. I had four young children, and my days were full of trips to the hospital, advocating for my incapacitated husband, and trying to emotionally manage my children and shield them from the horrible truth, that daddy might not make it. I remember every moment of it still, and it is the reason I have been praying and petitioning God non-stop on your behalf. I "know" what you are going through. I know what it is like to wake up each day and realize this is not a dream, but my new reality. I know how nothing else matters in the whole world; not the mortgage, the laundry, world politics, holidays...all of it fades to nothing when faced with the day to day struggle to see your husband live. Please know I am on my knees for you daily. Please take hope in the fact that my husband is healthy today. If you ever want to know more, please call me. I'd be happy to talk to you. I love your family very much, and would do anything for you right now.
    Toni Farmer (, 856-630-9998)

  2. Lindsay,
    Not for a moment has God forsaken you. Praying for wisdom for the doctors and healing for Kenny's entire body. Your church family loves you and we are on our knees for your family.

    May this song be a blessing to you as you spend the time in the hospital waiting on the Lord...

  3. We are continually praying for you and Kenny and your girls. Maddie and CJ have been praying for Mr. Kenny before nap time and bed time every day. We will continue to pray for your specific requests. May God continue to give you grace and strength for each day.

  4. Dear Lindsay,

    I was at Ken's pray walk today. To see everyone walking together in prayer and standing in the lobby praying as one church family was very powerful. Please know that many people at FAC are praying for Ken, you, your daughters and your families. Our family is continually keeping you all in prayer.

    Linda E.