today.

today has been such a swing of emotions as i process a new (to me) way of healing for ken and also thank God for coming through in such a wonderful way.


you must have been down on your knees all night,  because ken started responding to commands overnight and into today -- so much so that they cancelled the EEG.  i feel confident in this decision, and will take it from a pure gift from Jesus.

ken's breathing has been really great.  still on the ventilator, with talks of doing a tracheostomy possibly tomorrow, he's taking many more breaths on his own now.  i just now talked with respiratory, and she gave me a bit of hope saying, "maybe he won't even need the tracheostomy."  i know she was just saying it in passing, but if there's any chance, i wanna be praying about it for sure.

the primary concern right now is managing kenny's agitation as they wean his sedation.  although he won't remember this, it's a very difficult process for anyone to watch, let alone someone who loves him desperately.  he has been on a great deal of medication in the past weeks, and getting him off is quite a process.   i was warned it would be difficult, yet being forewarned doesn't make actually living it any easier.  i just keep repeating over and over to him, myself, and in the room "peace i leave with you.  my peace i give you.  i do not give to you as the world gives.  do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (john 14:27)  i am so cognizant that this is a "good problem" and want to praise God that we are even at this stage.  honestly, it feels surreal.  even still.   yet, even his fragile state, just like someone said, "this man still looks like a force to be reckoned with."  love it.

so, please will you pray with me?

~ thanking God that an EEG was not necessary, because He "preemptively" took care of the issue
~ praying for a miracle, that ken could come off the ventilator and not even need the tracheostomy.  if he should require one, they will do that between 11am and 2pm tomorrow.  please pray for this to be a smooth procedure, that will encourage ken's healing.
~ praying for wisdom from nurses and doctors to care beautifully for ken as they try to balance bringing him out of sedation, but not bringing him to the point of agitation (which complicates a bunch of stuff).
~  asking God for the medication weaning process to be smooth and peaceful for him.  

and something else...i could not feel more upheld by everyone's support and pure love for us.  you've given me the absolute greatest gift by your literally ceaseless prayers and practical ways of loving us.  i can't wait for the day when i will share with ken how each of you ministered to me and the girls in ways that caused our hearts to fill with joy in a painful time.  as we are trying to support ken through the sedation weaning process, quite honestly, it's not pretty.  so during this process, i will definitely welcome visitors to the hospital, but i just would ask that i meet you with you in the waiting room/lobby, as opposed to bedside.  thanks so much for understanding this sensitive time of ken's healing. this is a temporary request.

i've been praying this song over us lately. 


A Voice Calling Out

I hear a voice calling out
I hear a voice in this wilderness
 

where darkness has reigned for so long
ground is being taken

the trumpet sounds
and Your glory touches the ground
 

and we all stand in awe
who is this?
 

this glory far beyond us 

 
 i hear a voice
 

i hear a drum beating
heaven's drawing near
 

the sky will open
Your people are being healed
 

i hear a voice
heaven's battle cry
rise
see the sun light what was hidden
heaven's heart beat
see is moving
what was a whisper is now
 a voice calling out
 

i see a generation rising up
no longer accepting lies
running to the battlefield
and losing their lives
 

i see a generation rising up
no longer accepting lies
as a band of worshipers run to the battlefield
they're finding their lives 

i hear a voice 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02GFbsHPbN0