. . .
god has a specific plan in this weakness for ken. i am certain that He has something for ken in this source of pain and frustration. my heart longs for ken to be free of these "burdens", yet as we remain open to what God would have for us in our future, i want to be careful to assume that what i want is what's best for him.
i would love your prayers for this, yet really don't even know what to ask you to pray. . . for hearts of gratitude regardless. . .for ken to experience some kind of relief . . . for us to be on our knees, hands open . . . really, just for us to be transformed. that's all i long for lately. maybe in evidence seen today or barely made out, hazy hope for what's to come. i find the weight of a tragedy and the ramifications that linger on as the sun rises and sets, and does it all again - i find the weight of it all lightens when i see God's hand moving in our hearts. the joy is that He won't leave me unfinished. and that "greater things are still to be done" -- all the while, rejoicing in our past!
and maybe to add a little something for prayer? our sweet oldest. she's still struggling with sleep that doesn't get interrupted by some bad dreams. it's really the first time as a mom i've had to be lighter on the practical, on the doing and fixing and solving end, and had to step back, trust the choice she made close to two years ago to invite the living God in her heart, and surrender her to Him. fill her heart with Truth - for sure. teach that precious mind of hers memorize the promises that are hers to claim - yes. but at the end of the day, i just pray. and then pray again. and just wait & watch Him grow His daughter. it's another kind of surrendering, for sure. entrusting her to the only One who can make this trial for her count for something. again, it's the hope i am coming to treasure so dearly - the hope of heart that's transformed. even in my not-yet-five-year-old.
~ please pray for kenny's hand surgery on friday, april 5th.
~ please pray that God would be more real to our first-born than these dreams