i'm trying to pay attention to what really matters

"dear friend, listen well to my words; tune your ears to my voice.  keep my message in plain view at all times.  concentrate!  learn it by heart!  those who discover these words live, really live; body & soul, they're bursting with health."  proverbs 4:20-22 msg

i was told it would be like this.  i'll never forget what each set of eyes exactly looked like when they carefully & slowly told me how long this process would be.  when they told me how sick ken's lungs are.

somehow, just being forewarned isn't shield enough against the pain that might come my way when given that kind of information.  today i feel spiritually needy, which i know would be a wonderful thing if only my stubborn heart would embrace the neediness.  to be perfectly honest, right this moment, i just long for kenny whole.  and anything short feels like it might actually break my heart.

knowing that jesus knew i'd feel this way long before i sensed it coming on brings the reminder that He would not let me feel this way in vain.  i'm holding fast to His Truth.  i'm trying to keep it in "plain view" and "concentrate" on only that.

some new information from the doctors today gives me some new things to bring before the Lord.

(1)  ken got an ultrasound yesterday that revealed blood clots in his legs.  since he sustained brain injuries, he has not been a candidate for blood thinners.  the neurological team will decide if he can handle them at this point.  (he also had a filter put in to hopefully prevent clots from traveling to places they definitely don't want clots to go).  i'm praying that these clots will totally disappear.  and in the meantime, that the doctors will make a perfect decision for ken for how to handle them.

(2)  the preliminary cultures from the lumbar puncture were negative.  this is wonderful, but disconcerting because the source of ken's fevers is still unknown.  i am praying for the fevers to go away.

(3)  each day the doctors discuss if ken is ready for pelvis surgery.  this is necessary, but the timing is critical as they don't want the bones to heal misaligned but also can't push surgery while the source of his fevers is still unknown (surgery also complicates his blood clot issue a bit).  i am asking for God's decision for His son to be the doctors' decision.  and that God would be a shield around ken, protecting him from "even his foot tripping on a stone" (ps. 91)

thank you so much for joining me in prayer.  we love you.